The Note

Suzi: What’s this note? (She reads) “I —- you.” A four letter word missing. Are you going to tell me what it is?

Stan: No. Guess.

Suzi: Oh, no! You hate me! Why?

Stan: No, no. Not “hate”!

Suzi If not “hate” then “kill”–Oh, you want to kill me!

Stan: No no no!

Suzi: Oh, I see, you plotter, you, you want to “rope” me and kidnap me!

Stan: No. No, no!

Suzi: Ah, before roping and kidnapping and killing you want to “bait” me, to lure me into your web of deceit!

Stan: No!

Suzi: Oh, but first you want to “calm” me down. I won’t do it! I’m staying hysterical!

Stan: Oh, my gosh!

Suzi: Now I see. You want to “bend” me to your will so that I will surrender to you.

Stan: Hmmm, well.

Suzi: Oh, no. Now you are really getting bad. You want to “spin” me! You’re going to throw me onto the clothes dryer and spin me around, make me lose my will, before you calm me, bait me, rope me, and kill me. All because you hate me!

Stan: Wait! Enough! Let me tell you.

Suzi; Oh, I don’t know if I should let you. I sure am glad “shoot” doesn’t have four letters. Oh, but “hang” does! And you want to tell me—to read me the judgment before you hang me! Oh, this is too much!

Stan: I love you!

Suzi: Oh, now you’re being cute! Luv has three letters as everyone on Facebook knows. Now what do you say, you big deceiver, you?!

Stan gets up and kisses her.

Suzi: Does “kiss” have only four letters?

Stan: No, it has millions.

Suzi: Ah, I was hoping so.


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