Isn’t it Wonderful!

Dr. Amy Pearson sat in conference with other health professionals discussing the case of Brad Schneider. They agreed that the imaginitis virus had got him good, and what he needed was a strong dose of reality. Said Dr. Real, “It seems, Dr. Pearson, that this poet imagines you to be some kind of a goddess, a great beauty, a magnificent eighth wonder of the world.” “Ah, yes,” sighed Dr. Pearson, “isn’t that wonderful—I mean, oh, terrible! Yes, he has the imaginitis virus bad! We must do something before he starts imagining that I am the love of his life, that he worships me, and all those wonderful—I mean, terrible things.”

Dr. Fact added, “Yes, we must work fast. Why, if this imaginitis virus proves to be easily transmitted, there might ensue a plague of imaginitis across the whole country, or even around the world! Then everyone would start loving everyone! What a disaster! Now, Dr. Pearson, it is up to you to get Mr. Schneider to some quiet, isolated place where you can administer a large dose of reality to him. Let him see the bare fact of you, show him you’re just average, with no special beauty. Once he sees you, he’ll stop imagining things and the imaginitis virus will die.” “Oh, I couldn’t do that!” cried Dr. Pearson. “Just imagine how sad he will be! Imagine him not writing such sweet poems to me! Imagine him no longer worshiping me! And imagine what will happen if he still does!” Here Dr. Real stepped in, saying, “Oh my, Dr. Pearson, I think you have contracted the imaginitis virus!” “Yes,” sighed Dr. Pearson, “isn’t it wonderful?”

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