“A pig,” Mohammed said,
“I’d really like to eat.”
And so he ate a pig, he did,
From snout and ears to feet.
Then Allah cried, “You pig! You pig!
You lovely, juicy thing!”
And Allah oinked an oink so big
His virgins all did sing:
“Oink and oink, and oink again,
We love the souls of pig-like men,
For when to pray they bend on ground
They look like pigs so low and round.
They look like pigs, like pigs they smell;
In new pig-heaven they’ll do well,
Where pigs are boiled, some are fried,
And all are swallowed, deified.”

And up through Heaven the odor goes
Of bending pigs in many rows.
A hundred Allahs, waiting there,
Smack their lips for swinish fare.
A thousand Allahs, higher still,
A million even higher,
Call on pigs themselves to kill,
For Allahs’ swine desire!

The sacrifice of man to pig
Is Islam’s holy cause;
And man will grow so pig-like big
Bent low to Islam’s laws.
Then “oink” will spread from sea to sea,
Mohammed roll in mud,
Till all the Allahs bloated be
And, floating, drink pigs’ blood!