The U.S. official sits in a small room.  In front of him, a door admitting prospective citizens.  Behind him at his right, a door marked IN; to his left, a door marked OUT.  The front door opens.  A Muslim enters.

Official:  Who was George Washington?

Muslim:  The first President of the United States.

Official:  Do you believe it is ever right to initiate force against another person?

Muslim:  The Declaration of Independence.  Oops!  I mean, what do you mean?

Official:  If you find that your brother is homosexual, what will you do?

Muslim:  Stone him or hang him.

Official:  Go through the door to my left.  Next!

Another Muslim enters.

Official:  What is the capital of the United States?

Muslim:  Washington D.C.

Official:  Who wrote the Declaration of Independence?

Muslim:  Thomas Jefferson.

Official:  If you see a man drawing a picture of Mohammed, what will you do?

Muslim:  I will cut off his head.

Official:  Go through the door to my left.

Muslim:  But tell me, did I pass?  Am I now a citizen of this great free country?

Official:  You are not a citizen of anything, anywhere.  You are a pre-historic savage.   Next!