No Self

Joe walked down the street into a strong fresh breeze. He held his arms and hands out on each side, enjoying the feel of the wind. Ron came walking past and said, “Gosh, Joe, you look like, uh, feminine.” Joe walked on, saying nothing, but thinking, “Oh God, am I becoming a woman? Maybe I really am. That’s why I’ve been so unhappy lately. I’m like a woman locked in a man’s body!”

From then on, to prove his point, whenever Joe went out walking he held out his hands, and then started purposely to sway his hips. When he got a wolf-whistle from a man along the street he felt pleased. It confirmed the idea that he was really a she. So, he went and got a sex-change and thought, “Now I am really myself.”

One day a reporter asked him, “When you were a kid what did you want to be when you grew up?” Joe replied, “I wanted to be, like, a policeman, but my mother said it was like, dangerous, so I studied to be a nurse.”

“Well,” went on the reporter, “how does it feel to be a woman?”

“Oh, it feels great. I’m getting more used to myself every day.”

“What is your purpose in life now?”

“Oh, I’m writing, like, a book. It’s going to be called “Living Your Dream.”

“But you don’t have a dream, do you?”

“Oh, you nasty man! Trying to pull me down! You men are all alike! Because of you I’ll probably become, like, lesbian!”

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