Oh aged, wrinkled, old, old year,
All through with laughter, done with tear,
Lay down your body, sniff and sigh,
And with your weak and withering hand
Wave a last long, long goodbye.

And so he laid him softly down
To have that easy, final rest,
But sudden came a beating, fast
(Hammer-strokes within his chest!)
And up he leaped, shouting wild,
Shouting like a birthday child!
“Yay! I live! Now where’s the cake?!
I am not dead! ‘Twas some mistake!
Now bring me beer, and whiskey, too!
I’ve got a party-thing to do!”

He ate, he drank, with eyes a-flame!
His face was glowing—not with shame!
He danced and frolicked, diced, rolled seven!
(The clock went ticking on—eleven.)
He blew balloons, and popped them, too!
Like glad young man he seemed brand new!
He walked the walls, he strode the ceiling;
Joyous joy Old Year was feeling!
Now paper plates he sailed about,
And through the open windows—out!
His laughing spirit took to air,
To streets and cities—everywhere!

But then a ball did slowly glide,
With “Three…two….one” on every side;
A “Happy New Year!” shook the world!
Then shrunk Old Year to orange peel, curled.
And “HAPPY NEW YEAR!” shook the world!!